The very beginning of the King Solomon’s Mines mini-series is designed to cast Allan Quatermain is the best possible light. He seeks to stop a rich, white hunter from killing a mother elephant, very much reminiscent in the arguments surrounding modern hunting: don’t kill the mothers or the calves.

Unfortunately, the series immediately makes another obvious cliché by showing Elizabeth Maitland’s disgust of Quatermain. Naturally, I expect them to fall deeply in love within a few hours. Then she tries to save some cubs who have lost their mother to the big, bad savanna. And then a big cat wakes her up by licking her. Then there’s a mysterious African who shows up, needing to follow Quartermain. The token old friends who probably won’t make it. The stodgy Englishman who will loosen up due to the infectious nature of the easy-going Africans.

Yeah.

At this point, I do have to honestly note that I have not read the book; thus the many clichés may not exist or may have been completely original at the time. However, I do feel that their portrayal in this mini-series could have been handled much better.

Fun rendition of a conversation:
“I’m sorry; I should have told you about the people trying to kill us.”
“That’s ok. You’ve done pretty well.”

Cheesy romantic music factor is high. Annoyingly high.

Every five minutes or so, I asked myself “Why don’t they make a copy of the map?”

Climax is anti-climatic. Ending is cheese. None of the characterizations are truly compelling; Patrick Swayze presents a laid-back Quartermain that is too lethargic. Alison Doody is great looking (think a blonde Catherine Zeta-Jones), but her portrayal is less than appealing. Ultimately, I’d recommend doing something else with your three hours.